I Can Be a Prick

To date I've not authorized my work or my image to be used anywhere outside my one YouTube account or my one Google account. I have not authorized my work or image to be peddled by relatives. To date I've received no compensation for works of mine which were used commercially. I've never been arrested or incarcerated. The typing errors in my lyrics and spreadsheet have been located and my secretary has been severely disciplined. From now on she must provide her own serviette if she wishes to participate in birthday celebrations with other staff.
Arguments Copyright Issues Comedy Sketches Cartoons Lyrics Poems
More Statements Scripts Songs
© 2013. Statements by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.

Elementary Depression

To date I've not authorized my work or my image to be used anywhere outside my one YouTube account or my one Google account. I have not authorized my work or image to be peddled by relatives. To date I've received no compensation for works of mine which were used commercially. And I've also never been arrested or incarcerated. Do you think that after the radio stations and networks told us all to celebrate those frauds for stealing my work that they will now tell you to celebrate me even more for being its author? But what seems to be going on instead is a deliberate effort to discourage my popularity. This has slowed down my musical progress. I've been reading through my early blogs and seeing how much more enthusiastic I was about playing my music before I found out what the radio stations and networks did to it. Losing interest in one's activities, such as practicing music, is a classic sign of depression.
Arguments Copyright Issues Comedy Sketches Cartoons Lyrics Poems
More Statements Scripts Songs
© 2013. Statements by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.

A Finely Measured Crawl

To date I've not authorized my work or my image to be used anywhere outside my one YouTube account or my one Google account. I have not authorized my work or image to be peddled by relatives. To date I've received no compensation for works of mine which were used commercially. And I've also never been arrested or incarcerated. I'll get back to the funny stories once I catch up with the data in my index. Should be 625 entries by the end of the day. I should mention that I wasn't the one who crawled my blogs in the Wayback Machine. I want people to be able to go back in time and see my work.
Arguments Copyright Issues Comedy Sketches Cartoons Lyrics Poems
More Statements Scripts Songs
© 2013. Statements by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.

Feel the Energy

To date I've not authorized my work or my image to be used anywhere outside my one YouTube account or my one Google account. I have not authorized my work or image to be peddled by relatives. To date I've received no compensation for works of mine which were used commercially. I'll be adding more data to my Scripts A-Z blog today. Feeling very energetic.
Arguments Copyright Issues Comedy Sketches Cartoons Lyrics Poems
More Statements Scripts Songs
© 2013. Statements by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.

Little Miss Fickle

Voice: She was the kind of woman who could only love a man when he didn't care about her... Fickle: Luke, I think it's time we went our separate ways. Luke: But we just got back together. Fickle: I know, but I think it's a mistake. Luke: Fine, I'm leaving. Fickle: You're leaving? Just like that? What's your hurry? Luke: I'm not staying where I'm not wanted. Fickle: You are so hot right now. Luke: I am? (Smiling) Well, so are you, baby. (He approaches her with outstretched arms.) Fickle: (Striking him off) What are you doing! I said it's over! Voice: She's Little Miss Fickle, on tonight's Make-Out Movie.
Comedy Sketches Cartoons Arguments Copyright Issues Lyrics Poems
More Scripts Statements Songs
© 2007, 2013. Scripts by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.

As Usual

To date I've not authorized my work or my image to be used anywhere outside my one YouTube account or my one Google account. I have not authorized my work or image to be peddled by relatives. To date I've received no compensation for works of mine which were used commercially.
Arguments Copyright Issues Comedy Sketches Cartoons Lyrics Poems
More Statements Scripts Songs
© 2013. Statements by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.

The Cost of Trust

The reason why the super rich buy TV stations and radio stations is to have our trust. (Yes, I must include myself among the trusting, at least before I discovered what they did to me.) They need to control our behaviour in a way that best suits their profit making schemes. We may think that we can avoid being manipulated by ignoring commercials, but much of our behavioural programming appears to come from news broadcasts. People seldom question news broadcasts. If I was on trial in 2007 and found 'guilty' on a news broadcast, no one bothered to visit my apartment and see that I was free. If they did, they could have asked me if I had received any visits from the police and I could have told them that I had not received any such visits. But if Dateline maligned me back then, no one bothered to check their story. I think I could have been standing in front of a large crowd, telling everyone I was free while they told everyone I was in jail, and the crowd would have believed them over me. Boy, they sure know how to make us pay for trusting them, don't they? Look what they've done to fans of my music and humour. Here we are with all these laughs and songs and instead of celebrating them we must feel shame over them. They really know how to kill a party, those pricks. Some of my fans are just now realizing that I have been inappropriately treated for six years almost every day for creating some of their favourite works of music and comedy because they trusted networks and radio stations. And I have to somehow get over six years of being the focus of their dirty looks because I trusted networks and radio stations. And what else happens when we trust them? In the last few years, it sounds like a lot of Americans lost their homes for trusting a show that gave them financial advice. I could think of more examples, but it's too depressing to contemplate.
Arguments Copyright Issues Comedy Sketches Cartoons Lyrics Poems
More Statements Scripts Songs
© 2013. Statements by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.

Nasty Hackers Fry in Hell

That's a pretty nefarious program which has infected the computer over at the other place. It sure slowed down my attempt to merely copy and paste text from my blogs to review for my index
Arguments Copyright Issues Comedy Sketches Cartoons Lyrics Poems
More Statements Scripts Songs
© 2013. Statements by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.

Blame Dateline

I tried to give my lawyers all the details of why I evacuated the internet in 2007, but back in February I still hadn't rewritten Virtue and recovered my memories of the first time I wrote and shared that song, so some details of my account were either missing or distorted from lack of context. One detail in particular, a certain panic attack which I suffered for no apparent reason while alone in my apartment in late October of that year, I reported to them as possibly my intuition telling me what my destiny had in store for me in my future of that time. However, my reconstruction of more sketches and songs from October 2007 has restored more of my memory of my situation at that time, and my experiences since then have helped me to identify these strange sensations of panic as being connected with Dateline NBC trials. So I now think that Dateline NBC may have had me on trial way back in October 2007, probably over my blogs, and that the experience was so uncomfortable that it became the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back in terms of my endurance of the conditions of fame. Doesn't it strike you as illegal for them to use me on their show without asking me or even informing me?
Arguments Copyright Issues Comedy Sketches Cartoons Lyrics Poems
More Statements Scripts Songs
© 2013. Statements by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.

TV's Hypocrisy

You trusted me six years ago because you knew that my work was done with a pure motive. As an unpaid amateur, I could be trusted. I wasn't in music for profit but strictly for the music. The same was true of my writing. So now that the TV has profited so immensely from these non-commercial works of mine over the last six years, are they trying to make me look like a loser for having the same attitude I had when I first wrote them? That's quite hypocritical and stupid of the TV if it's true. It might explain why so many TV stars must be dragged off to jail for committing stupid crimes. The stupidest criminal of all was Jay Leno, eh? Too bad everyone thought he was so great for being on TV.
Arguments Copyright Issues Comedy Sketches Cartoons Lyrics Poems
More Statements Scripts Songs
© 2013. Statements by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.

I'm Not in Hell

To date I've not authorized my work or my image to be used anywhere outside my one YouTube account or my one Google account. I have not authorized my work or image to be peddled by relatives. To date I've received no compensation for works of mine which were used commercially. Too many people watch TV and get the idea from it that Heaven and Hell are made of money and poverty respectively. TV wants you to believe that money is the most important thing in life because you need money to buy all those worthless products it advertises. But my Heaven is not made of money. My Heaven is such that I could be in it at any time in my life because my Heaven is a place of the heart. You can have all the money in the world and still be miserable. And you can have no money at all and still have the sense of humour to write 500 to 1000 comedy sketches which are so funny that television needs to steal them to compete with you. My songs come from my life and my heart, but some people never appreciated them; some people only appreciated the big label's money. Money is their God and they could never find their way into my Heaven.
Arguments Copyright Issues Comedy Sketches Cartoons Lyrics Poems
More Statements Scripts Songs
© 2013. Statements by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.

Where It Began

I have traced all the fraud that has been committed with my work as far back as 1999 so far. It predates that. I used to draw cartoons. Ask the Georgia Straight because they published a couple of them in the mid-90's without putting my name on them. I wasn't expecting money, but I thought my name would look nice on my work if it were published in the Georgia Straight. Who Ripped Me Off was one of them. Remember? And Who Ripped Me Off had a Jim Jones character I invented for another cartoon from 1993 which was published, again without the use of my name. I'll use the name of the person who published it now: Frances Collins. Frances, why didn't you pay me any money for those cartoons of mine you published in 1993?
Arguments Copyright Issues Comedy Sketches Cartoons Lyrics Poems
More Statements Scripts Songs
© 2013. Statements by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.

How to Use My Indexes

For the last six years I can only imagine that my indexes have been used exclusively by frauds as a shortcut to my most humorous content. It looks like they used up every single sketch I listed in 2007. That adds up to hundreds and hundreds of counts of fraud and years of broadcast lies. Now that I have restored these indexes to my account, though there is still more data to enter in them, I would like my readers to use them to home in on any fraud which might still be lingering out there on the internet. Just zero in on a song or a sketch from my indexes, copy and paste its text into Google, and if it takes you to any other page but my own, flag the page for fraud and watch it disappear from the web. Prosecute all offenders, including my relatives, if necessary. Below are the links to my indexes:
Arguments Copyright Issues Comedy Sketches Cartoons Lyrics Poems
More Statements Scripts Songs
© 2013. Statements by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.

They Stole Your Trust

They did not steal my work to look talented as much as they did to gain your trust. You trusted me six years ago. Corporations spend billions of dollars on advertising every year to gain the trust you had in me six years ago. So when I erased my blogs they saw an opportunity to have that expensive trust for free. That's also why they are resisting their confession of guilt so fiercely now. They need you to trust them. Of course, they only want your money and most of you know that. But you trusted them with all your hearts as they acted out my Virtue Vault sketch and other sketches of mine with moral themes which corrupt businessmen and their auxiliaries are far too comfortable to ever come up with on their own. They stole my money, but they stole something far more valuable from you: they stole your trust.
Arguments Copyright Issues Comedy Sketches Cartoons Lyrics Poems
More Statements Scripts Songs
© 2013. Statements by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.

They Are Obviously Liars

Are they telling you I'm obviously a policeman now? I thought they said I was obviously a filthy, lying reprobate. How did I go from being a criminal to being a policeman? Obviously they lie about me. Policemen don't spend years of they lives writing songs and sketches with strong ant-establishment themes. Fuck, the criminal population of this drug infested city must be enormous. Or maybe they just all gang up at the library to give me a warped sense of how large it is.
Arguments Copyright Issues Comedy Sketches Cartoons Lyrics Poems
More Statements Scripts Songs
© 2013. Statements by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.

Privileged Information

Reporter: And another victim of the Green Bay Hacker has turned up in a sewer in a remote part of town. More at eleven. Director: (Entering) Cut! You're right again! The police are amazed at the accuracy of your information in this case. Where do you get it? Reporter: I'm sorry, I must protect my sources. Director: I see. Well, anyway, it's lunch time. Reporter: It is? Would you like a slice of coffee cake? Director: That sounds scrumptious. Reporter: Great. (She opens a drawer and pulls out a slab of cake. Then she pulls out a large cleaver and with a crazed look on her face she wildly chops her lunch to pieces.) Take that! (Chop) And that! (Chop) And that! (Chop. The director recoils in fear.)
Comedy Sketches Cartoons Arguments Copyright Issues Lyrics Poems
More Scripts Statements Songs
© 2007, 2013. Scripts by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.

Devils in Disguise

Do you all know that the television owes me millions of dollars for work they stole from my erased blogs? Visit this link 1) MY SCRIPTS: A-Z and count all those sketches. Do you expect to get any straight information about me from them? To me it's a shame that you watch them at all. And do you think I should have a more respectful attitude about the old, classic rockers? How much fucking money do they need anyway? If I get my money, I'll show you how to handle fame. You get in, you make your fortune, and then you disappear. If I ever get so addicted to fame that I want to steal some starving poet's song to stay popular, shoot me in the fucking head. I may have had occasion to say this before, but if I were a serial killer, I'd get a job as a reporter first so that no one would ever suspect me, no matter how much blood I have on my shirt when I show up for work. Perhaps I will illustrate this in a sketch, just as I showed you in 2007 how my sketches come from my experience and my attitude, at least until they steal my blogs that talk about my sketches after they steal my sketches.
Arguments Copyright Issues Comedy Sketches Cartoons Lyrics Poems
More Statements Scripts Songs
© 2013. Statements by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.

Yet More Necessary Prose

Since I was forced by financial limitations to leave my cozy apartment and move to cheaper downtown accommodations, I have been making regular use of a local drop-in centre with a notorious reputation. Some of their clients are the criminally insane type and they make the other clients look bad. So I thought I should share a little more prose to clear up how I ended up a member of this facility. For the moment, membership is limited to clients with disabilities. Since I arrived here in 1995 I have tried to avoid the downtown area. However, as a single man, my high rent often forced me to make use of the downtown free food services. While standing in line for a meal at one of the Missions here I met a poet. It was great to meet someone else like myself in such a desperate situation and we became friends. This fellow collected disability and had a membership in the reserved drop-in centre. At that time I found full-time work, but I regularly visited him on weekends and shared my earnings with him. A few years later, when I quit that job, he returned the favour by letting me eat with him as his guest in the reserved drop-in centre. The drop-in staff got to know me and offered me a membership. This must have been sometime around the year, 2000. I found more full-time work for the next two years as a cashier. Then I found another full-time job in a recycling plant to keep me out of the drop-in centre until I quit and went on Employment Insurance back in 2007. My steady income over that seven year period is what enabled me to secure my apartment on East 8th Avenue. This location was far enough from the drop-in to discourage me from visiting it, even if I needed food. So I haven't had any occasion to take advantage of my membership until just the last few years as I try to survive on the money NBC and CBC and WEA didn't pay me for my hundreds of sketches and scores of songs. Visit these links and see for yourself:
Arguments Copyright Issues Comedy Sketches Cartoons Lyrics Poems
More Statements Scripts Songs
© 2013. Statements by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.

Announcement

To date I've not authorized my work or my image to be used anywhere outside my one YouTube account or my one Google account. To date I've received no compensation for works of mine which were used commercially. I have an announcement to make. Out of respect for the efforts of the local police in rounding up and incarcerating my enemies I've decided to stay in Vancouver until I have the means to reward them. So I'm staying here until I have my money. After that, I'm not promising anything.
Arguments Copyright Issues Comedy Sketches Cartoons Lyrics Poems
More Statements Scripts Songs
© 2013. Statements by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.

Last Minute

I know I saw that sketch about making up words on TV after I wrote and shared it the first time in 2007. I recall how I wrote my name onto my work last time: I wrote it into the HTML code and copyrighted the work in my name from inside this source code. I'm sure a lot of my titles match up with my first titles. Any insider who knows SNL's titles might be able to tell you that I got most of them right. So how did I know their titles? When can I get my money?
Arguments Copyright Issues Comedy Sketches Cartoons Lyrics Poems
More Statements Scripts Songs
© 2013. Statements by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.

Don't Say It

(A living room. A man sits in front of his TV with his wife in the background, on her way to the kitchen.) Wife: Why do you watch that horrible news? They're never right about anything! Man: Because I want my money's worth from the cable bill. (Exit wife.) TV: And the president of Shifty Shingles guarantees that his roofing product is not the slightest bit defective. (The roof caves in. His wife re-enters.) Wife: Is everything all right in here? Man: Yeah, remind me to call the roofer in the morning. TV: And now over to weather. And it looks like sunny skies will stay with us until at least the week-end! (A thunderclap is followed by a torrent of rain. The man sits stoically and continues watching the broadcast.) And now for our top story about a local terrorist who gained possession of a nuclear warhead. We have just been informed that- Man: DON'T SAY IT! TV: -the suspect has been apprehended by the authorities, along with his weapon of mass destruction... Man: NO! (A blinding flash is followed by total darkness.)
Comedy Sketches Cartoons Arguments Copyright Issues Lyrics Poems
More Scripts Statements Songs
© 2007, 2013. Scripts by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.

Common Complacence: Look Out for Your Own

I'm standing in front of my building for this installment of Common Complacence, to show you where I reside with my family and a few friends. I like to think of them as 'my own'. They are the only people I care about. Why should I give a damn about some stranger? If I don't know him, he's on his own. Frankly, if we all looked out for our own, no one would need any help. Well, I think I made my point. (Searching his pockets for his keys) Now where did those keys go? Did I leave them in the car? (A woman passes him on her way into the building.) Excuse me, miss? Can you let me in? I've lost my keys. Woman: (Slipping inside and slamming the door in his face) I don't know you!
Comedy Sketches Cartoons Arguments Copyright Issues Lyrics Poems
More Scripts Statements Songs
© 2007, 2013. Scripts by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.

Why They Don't Know Me

One of the reasons why the people from my life of twenty or thirty years ago don't know me or had doubts about my copyrights is because of my very unique approach to intellectual competition. The popular approach, which couldn't be clearer in the light of what happened to my hundreds of blog entries and scores of songs, is to steal the work of an intellectual superior and try to pass it off as one's own. I don't do that. I am as irked by envy as any other when confronted by someone of superior talent or intellect, but rather than getting even by cutting him down, I struggle to rise to his level. I did not start writing seriously until well after I left my band behind in Toronto, so the people from that time had no idea I was capable of this kind of material; I only wrote songs. I didn't play very much guitar in Toronto but I've had the last eighteen years to familiarize myself with the instrument. I've changed a lot in the last two decades as a Vancouver hermit. I can't stand having nothing to do and I've filled that gap in my spotty employment history with volumes of original short stories, poetry, plays, songs, and sketches. I have honed my skills as a writer from years of effort: something that a countless cast of TV performers apparently wanted to avoid at all costs.
Arguments Copyright Issues Comedy Sketches Cartoons Lyrics Poems
More Statements Scripts Songs
© 2013. Statements by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.

How Delightful

So did everyone hear about the Dateline reporters? I heard that they pleaded guilty to an extremely dirty offense. Did the corporate media mention it? No? That's big news, isn't it? Speaking of the media, how is CBC? You know, I now wonder about that 'delightful farce' they were pushing from a 'local playwright' back in 1999 or 2000, right after I shared my first attempt at writing a play with my acting teacher from continuing ed. Was it a delightful farce about a man who is forced to move into an apartment with his ex-girlfriend and her girlfriend? Did they promote any delightful farces about a man depending on a Mission for food? It wouldn't surprise me. And the most delightful entertainer on CBC was the creep who turned my blog entries into his goofy stand-up routine for three years - not including this past summer. Evidently CBC and the local media are morally flawed. Too bad everyone insists on trusting them only to end up looking foolish. I know everyone loves to go with the flow in the present, but I assure you that many of the faces you admire now will cause you revulsion and disgust in the years to come. And most or all of them will disappear from your dial - especially the ones who want to contradict me with lies in the present.
Arguments Copyright Issues Comedy Sketches Cartoons Lyrics Poems
More Statements Scripts Songs
© 2013. Statements by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.

One mysterious aspect of copyright protection seems to be the inadvertent reconstruction of copyrighted works by the author in the event that they were erased and stolen.
More Statements	Scripts	Songs
© 2013. Statements by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.